Supporting Your Child and Family Life
A diagnosis affects more than medical care. Find guidance on supporting your child emotionally, talking with siblings, maintaining routines where possible and navigating changes in family life during treatment.
Overview
A brain tumour diagnosis affects far more than medical care. It changes routines, emotions, relationships and the way families move through everyday life. In the early weeks, families often focus on hospital appointments and treatment decisions. Over time, the impact on your child, siblings and family life becomes clearer.
There is no single “right” way to support your family. What matters is finding approaches that feel workable, honest and sustainable for now.
Talking With Your Child About What’s Happening
Talking with your child about their diagnosis and treatment is one of the hardest parts of this experience. Some parents hear the diagnosis at the same time as their child, directly from the medical team. Others are told privately and must decide how to explain it.
However it happens, children do need to know. Even very young children sense when something serious is happening. Research and clinical experience consistently show that children cope better when they receive honest, age-appropriate information rather than being shielded from it.
When information is missing, children often imagine explanations that are more frightening than reality.
If your child is autistic, neurodivergent, or has an existing disability, communication and support may need to be adapted. You know your child best, and it is appropriate to ask the team to tailor explanations, environments and supports accordingly
This is not about one perfect conversation. It is an ongoing process where your child knows they can ask questions and trust the answers they receive.
How Children of Different Ages May Understand
Children understand illness differently depending on their age and development.
Babies and toddlers
Young children cannot understand explanations, but they are highly sensitive to changes in routine and emotional availability. Consistency, comfort and your presence matter most.
Preschool-aged children (around 3–5 years)
Children at this age think in concrete terms. They may believe they caused the illness or worry that it is contagious. Clear reassurance is important, including that:
- they did not cause the tumour
- they cannot catch it
- they are not being punished
School-aged children (around 6–12 years)
School-aged children can understand basic explanations about illness and treatment. They often want to know what will happen next and how it will affect school, activities and family life. They may still worry that they caused the illness.
Teenagers
Teenagers usually want honest, detailed information and may want to be involved in decisions about their care. They may worry about independence, friendships, appearance and disruption to their plans. Some teenagers hide their fears to protect their parents.
Children often ask the same questions repeatedly. This is a normal way of processing information, not a sign that explanations were unclear.
Finding Words That Help
You do not need to have the right words. You need words that are honest and appropriate for your child.
Many families find it helpful to:
- use clear terms such as “tumour” or “cancer” rather than vague phrases
- explain what will change in the short term
- name that different emotions are expected
Some parents adapt language like this:
“The doctors have found out why you’ve been feeling unwell. There’s a tumour in your brain that shouldn’t be there. The doctors know how to treat it and are working hard to help you. This isn’t anyone’s fault, and you can’t catch it from anyone. Things may feel different for a while, and it’s okay to feel worried, sad or angry. You can always ask questions.”
This is only an example. You know your child best. What matters is openness over time, not saying everything perfectly in one moment.
Support From Your Medical Team
Children’s hospitals have Child Life Therapists who specialise in child development and communication. They can help explain diagnosis and treatment using play, stories and visual tools, and can support both children and siblings.
You can ask your child’s medical team to arrange this support at any stage.
Supporting Siblings
If you have other children, explaining what is happening can feel overwhelming. Many parents feel torn between the hospital and home, and guilt is common. There is no perfect solution.
Siblings often benefit from:
- hearing clear, simple information early
- reassurance that they did not cause the illness
- reassurance that cancer is not contagious
- knowing what will stay the same, even if other things change
Information can be shared gradually. It is okay to say, “I don’t know yet, but we’ll find out together.”
Keeping routines as steady as possible helps siblings feel secure. Letting schools or childcare services know what is happening can allow teachers to provide additional emotional support.
Child Life Therapists can also help prepare siblings or speak with them directly if that would be helpful. Some families also access sibling-specific counselling or support programs.
Changes to Daily Life and Routines
During treatment, daily life often becomes less predictable. Hospital stays, fatigue and side effects can affect routines that once felt stable.
Where possible, small anchors can help:
- keeping familiar bedtime routines
- maintaining contact with friends or school when appropriate
- allowing flexibility rather than trying to keep everything the same
It is normal for family roles to shift. Accepting help with practical tasks can ease pressure and conserve energy.
Emotional Responses and When to Seek Support
Children and adults often cope differently. Some children ask many questions. Others avoid talking. Some show distress through behaviour rather than words.
There is no correct emotional response. Fear, anger, withdrawal, hope and determination can all appear, sometimes in the same day. These reactions often change over time and may look different across members of the same family.
If supporting your child or other siblings feels difficult, this does not mean you are failing. It reflects how demanding and emotionally complex this period can be.
Support from hospital social workers, psychologists and Child Life Therapists can help you navigate these conversations and responses in ways that fit your family. External organisations can also offer counselling, sibling support and practical assistance. You do not need to manage this alone.
Therapeutic and Creative Supports for Children and Young People
Alongside medical treatment, many children benefit from therapeutic supports that focus on emotional expression, coping and quality of life. These supports recognise that children often process illness through play, creativity and experience, rather than conversation alone.
These supports focus on safety, regulation and coping, rather than analysis or insight. They are about helping children feel safer, more regulated and more able to cope with what is happening around them.
These supports are commonly used alongside medical care and psychological support, and they can be adapted to suit your child’s age, personality, energy levels and preferences.
What Therapeutic and Creative Supports Can Look Like
Therapeutic supports for children with serious illness often take non-verbal or play-based forms. Depending on your child’s age and needs, this may include:
- play therapy, allowing children to express fear, confusion or distress through play rather than words
- art therapy, using drawing, painting or craft to help children process experiences they may not be able to articulate
- music therapy, supporting emotional expression, regulation, comfort and connection
- movement or sensory-based therapies, helping with anxiety, restlessness or body awareness
- learning-based or activity-focused support, particularly for children who respond better to doing than talking
These approaches are widely used in paediatric healthcare settings and are supported by evidence showing benefits for emotional regulation, anxiety reduction, coping and overall wellbeing in children with chronic or life-threatening illness.
Importantly, they are often experienced by children as something normal rather than as “treatment”.
Why These Supports Matter
Children do not experience illness in a linear or verbal way. They may understand what is happening one day and seem unconcerned the next. They may appear calm while holding significant fear, or show distress through behaviour rather than words.
Creative and therapeutic supports help by:
- giving children a sense of control and choice
- providing safe ways to express emotions without pressure
- providing comfort, distraction and emotional regulation
- reducing anxiety and distress during treatment and hospital stays
- improving engagement and coping over time
For some children, these supports become a primary way of processing what is happening. For others, they are something they dip in and out of as needs change. Both are appropriate.
If Your Child Does Not Want “Therapy”
Many children do not want another appointment, another conversation or another person asking how they are coping. That is not stubbornness. It is fatigue, overwhelm or a need for control in a situation where so much feels decided for them.
Support can still work, but it often needs a softer entry point
In practice, this can look like framing support as play, music, art or learning rather than “therapy”, keeping sessions short, and allowing your child to opt in gradually. Choice matters here. Even small decisions, such as who is in the room, whether they sit or lie down, or whether they talk or simply listen, can reduce distress.
The goal is not to force emotional insight. It is to reduce suffering and help your child cope in a way that feels safe and manageable for them.
Music Therapy and Creative Programs
Music therapy is one example of a creative support that many children engage with readily. It can help with emotional expression, anxiety reduction, comfort during treatment and creating moments of normality in a medical setting.
In Australia, the Robert Connor Dawes Foundation offers a music therapy program for people diagnosed with cancer under the age of 25. Where direct music therapy is not available, the program may also support families through funding for music-related equipment, such as instruments or headphones, or other music-based supports.
Programs like this are popular because they meet children where they are, without requiring them to talk about illness unless they choose to.
Availability can vary by location. Some services are offered nationally, while others depend on hospital partnerships or community providers.
Accessing Therapeutic and Creative Supports
Some therapeutic supports are available directly through children’s hospitals, including Child Life Therapy, psychology, play therapy or allied health services. Others are accessed through community organisations, charities or private providers.
Your child’s medical team, social worker or Child Life Therapist can help you understand:
- what is available within your hospital
- which services are available locally or nationally
- whether referrals are required
- what costs, if any, may be involved
If you live in a regional or remote area, some supports may be delivered through outreach programs, visiting therapists or telehealth, depending on the service.
You do not need to pursue every option. One well-matched support can be far more helpful than several poorly suited ones.