Insights from Dr. Marcelle Moore, Clinical Psychologist and Author of Even Lions Get Scared.
When a child is diagnosed with brain cancer, the emotional toll reaches far beyond the hospital room. Families are thrown into a world of fear, uncertainty and change—often without a clear emotional map to follow.
Dr. Marcelle Moore, a Clinical Child and Adolescent Psychologist with over 20 years of experience, has worked with many families facing this journey. She shares how parents and carers can help children make sense of their experience and find resilience in the face of overwhelming challenges.
Dealing with diagnosis
When explaining a diagnosis to a child, being honest and as informative as you can is always best BUT always in an age-appropriate way. By age, I mean emotional age, as children need to be able to understand what you are saying. We need to be mindful of their brain’s capacity to process and organise the information they are being told.
I always talk with parents about any information being bite sized and for them to notice how their child is responding non-verbally before they keep sharing information.
Honest Conversations and Emotional Safety
Depending on a child’s age, parents may have difficulty thinking about what to share and how to share in a language that can be both understood and processed.
Always start with where a child is in their understanding before telling them what we know or think. Give children permission not to talk—they’ll usually begin talking when they feel relationally safe.
Tools like drawing, toys, and books are especially useful. When children are playing, they are usually more likely to talk in an honest way about how they are feeling.
Children sometimes surprise us by asking questions in quite detailed ways and I always say to parents that it is ok to say when you don’t know an answer to something and that you will come back to them.
Emotional and behavioural reactions
Children often have their lives turned upside down and suddenly find themselves with very little control once the treatment process begins. Initially this can often make them feel more unwell, which can bring a mixture of fear and anger when they are faced with painful procedures.
They are faced with an army of professionals trying to help, but safe relationships have not yet been established so trust is minimal, and fear is high.
In my experience it takes time for kids to learn to trust adults and patience is essential. Sadly, treatment waits for no-one so often children flurry in a state of not knowing. Sometimes this causes anger that they can no longer do the things other kids of their age can.
Everyone faces the impact of illness both emotionally and physically and the possibility of hair loss can be so confronting for everyone.
Kids can very much communicate their emotions through their behaviour as, depending on their age, they may have to regress towards dependency again on parents, which might be very challenging for many kids.
Again, it’s important to create a safe space for kids to ask questions about anything they need to during this time.
Supporting siblings
Brain cancer affects the entire family. Parents face emotional exhaustion, disrupted routines, and the overwhelming weight of uncertainty.
Siblings may also struggle to feel seen. They often get used to multiple caregivers…It is like they know that illness has taken the space, and they need to survive with what they have until they sense there is emotionally space for them to express their experiences often through challenging behaviour.
Find age-appropriate ways to include them in the journey, let them know they’re loved and make space for their feelings as well.
Sitting in the “Yuck”
Sometimes I think one of the most challenging aspects of being a parent is having ‘to sit in the yuck’ of our children’s pain. We are built to problem solve and soothe pain, but sometimes the soothing part is hearing the hard things children tell us knowing we cannot fix it.
Share the emotional and logistical load (where possible) and try to carve out moments of rest and recovery. This could mean taking a few hours a week for your own mental wellbeing to do the ‘normal’ things you enjoy, like swimming or yoga.
This is exceptionally hard for parents, but I try to gently say that kids are ALWAYS only as ok as their parents, so their wellbeing is so important.
Even Lions Get Scared: A Tool for Big Feelings
To extend her support beyond the therapy room, Dr Moore authored a children’s book called Even Lions Get Scared. It is her hope that her book will help children and parents everywhere to know that having big feelings is normal when facing uncertainty and moments that are important.
The story follows Scout, a young lion who learns that bravery and fear co-exist together—and that safe connection is crucial in the transformative journey from fear to courage.
Even Lions Get Scared began as a story to help children to know that everyone, including lions, get scared sometimes and that we all have bravery inside us. Sometimes we just need a little togetherness to help us find it.
Fear can come in many forms—from ordinary, everyday wobbles to the worst kind of uncertainty when a child or parent’s life is being threatened by illness.
I introduced the concept of a “bravery button”—a metaphor that reminds children that courage lives inside them, even when fear (of any kind) takes over. I hope that Scout’s journey will support children in having the courage to face their fears and believe in the power of their inside bravery.
Supporting Children Through Cancer
I have used this book with kids who are facing the cruelling regime of treatment through a cancer diagnosis.
One strategy from the book—box breathing—is a simple but powerful technique used by elite professionals like Navy SEALs to calm the body in high-stress situations. Box breathing helps the body to enter into a ‘rest and digest’ mode, which helps the nervous system to reset to a balanced calm state when an individual is facing a potentially stressful situation.
Helping kids understand the science behind their body’s response helps them to work towards gaining a little more control. This is considered a useful tool given the lack of control they and their families can experience especially during a hospital stay.
Scout champions the message that you can find a way forward from the terror of not knowing and that finding your inside brave helps you to step into the next moment of your day—especially if you have togetherness with trusted others.
A brain cancer diagnosis is devastating and disrupts the ordinary flow of family life, it impacts the family system in so many ways. I have been struck by the incredible strength and bravery of the children I have had the privilege to work with. With the right support and thoughtful moments of simply “being with” children in the scariest of circumstances can still find joy, strength and connection—even in the hardest of moments.
Even Lions Get Scared is available to purchase at Amazon.
For additional information on supporting children through a brain cancer diagnosis, we recommend the following resources:
Together, we can help children and families feel safe, seen and supported—every step of the way.
